Let's discuss being a step parent! It can be a wonderful experience. It can also be the worst experience you've ever had. In my own personal experience I've learned that one of the biggest keys to being a step parent is to let the biological parent be the disciplinarian. You certainly do not allow the child to walk all over you. But when it comes to laying down a punishment (ex. grounding), leave that to the other parent. Being a step parent is hard enough, if you do the discipline you will only be the bad guy. It's easier for the child to think it's the step parents fault and be mad at them. If the step parent does the punishments the child forms the opinion in their head that the biological parent wouldn't have choosen that if the step parent hadn't been in the picture. In our house we don't use labels. My husband already had our oldest child when I met him. I love that child very much as my own. That child made me a mommy. In our house we firmly believe you don't marry a man that already has children unless you plan to love that child as your own. Of course, we also do not believe it's the blood pumping through our veins that make us a parent/family. Love isn't determined by DNA.
Well, there's my ramblings for the day. Hope everyone is geared up for a happy new year!
I agree with your position - let the bio parent be the primary disciplinarian. As the relationship establishes, the stepparent can begin to move into that role but it does work best most of the time when the bio parent takes the lead.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. Like your blog. Gayla
Thanks for your comment!
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